The Quiddity of True Friendship
Ok, close your eyes and think about a friend with whom life seems exciting and an adventurous journey. A friend with whom you feel energetic even in adverse situations, who is there beside you to support you, to criticize you for your mistakes.
Oh! you have more than one such friend. Congratulations!
So, what if one has no such friends. Mind it, a friend doesn’t mean, they have to be outside our family. Your parents can be your such friend, your spouse can be such a friend.
According to a recent research, not having a trustworthy friend have the same impacts on your life as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. 15 cigarettes, it’s scary right.
Have you noticed, when we were a child, making friends was so easy. We went to the playground, we made friends. We went to school, we made so many friends. But as we grow older, the number of friends lessen with time.
Maybe we become more selective with time while choosing friends. Even then, ask yourself honestly how many trustworthy friends you have. How many friends do you have who really knows you, on whom you can trust blindly even at the time of crisis.
You are truly lucky if you have such a friend but most often people don’t have one such friend. Although we are surrounded by people day and night and even consider many of them as our friend, we crave for one such true friend.
Why finding a true friend seems difficult?
In our childhood, if I played football and A also played football then we were friends. But as adults, we are much pickier. Friendship now doesn’t only mean we have something common between us but it is a serious investment. We realize that people are not actually what they pretend to show us. Everyone becomes self-centered and compassion goes out of the window. People will easily betray you, people will spread rumors, people will do anything if they see you as an obstacle that needs to be removed.
However, the problem is not always with other people. Quite often we miss our true friends due to our own ignorance. Our limited beliefs prevent us from talking to new people we meet every time. We have been taught that strangers are dangerous, to not talk with someone you have never seen.
But I am telling about myself. The most beautiful friends I have made in life is through talking to someone stranger. I had to talk or respond to them. It didn’t just happen because we work in the same place or we are from the same school/college.
And remember all we need is few or at least one such friend, so every time you decide not to talk with a person you don’t know well, you reduce your chances of getting a true friend.
The situation is even worse in this social-media generation where you have thousands of virtual friends on facebook, twitter, Instagram but hardly someone who listens to you, who gives you a feeling of real human connection. With the rise of instant gratification among people, we are becoming impatient day by day. Everything nowadays we want in just a click. But a true friendship takes time to build.
The expectation is another major issue in a friendship. Everyone wants a friend full of joy. However, often we ourselves are not in joy. There is an old saying which says-
” You attract the kind of friends that you are yourself “
Nobody wants to spend time with a miserable person. If you want joyful people to be your friend then become such a person first.
The aim should never be to increase just the number of friends but to find some truly great friends. As A. P. J Abdul Kalam rightly said-
” One best book is equal to 100 friends but one good friend is equal to a library “
Numerous studies today suggest that having a good friend means better health conditions both physically and mentally, a good friend increases your longevity. Not only that, having a true friend means you are increasing your chances of achieving your goals, your dreams. If your friend lives a healthy lifestyle, you more likely have such a life. If your friend loves to read books, you more likely to check out some books.
The Bottom line is- choose your friends wisely and surround yourself with people who inspire you. I urge you to watch this TED talk
Life is much more beautiful when you a have friends with whom you can be your true yourself, with whom you feel like home. And if you haven’t found one yet, don’t give up. Keep your eyes open and talk more often with strangers (who seems genuine).
You never know. Life surprises us most when we go out of our comfort zone and try something new.
Have a joyful week. Until next time- Joy
Originally published at joyexcel.com on November 25, 2018.