The last night I was talking with one of my college friends over the phone. And suddenly the topic of the modern-day relationship jumped into the discussion. His argument was all these hook up culture of nowadays in the name of relationships are gift from the west. All these relationship disasters are because we are trying to follow them.
Later that night I was pondering over his thoughts. How easy it is to blame other cultures for our own mistakes. No one wants to admit their own mistake, everyone wants to just escape somehow by blaming others.
So coming back to his thought. Are these hook up culture for some temporary pleasure really just western influence? What do you think?
Honestly, I don’t agree with him. I mean every culture, every society has their own things to justify. But if you are blaming other cultures for your own problems, then you are not capable to think rationally. Your intellect has been hijacked by something else. As a human being, most often we do things which we like to do. It’s always our own decisions. Then how can we blame others for the consequences?
The same thing is true for relationships also. We choose our partners ourselves, we are responsible for building that relationship. Then how can you blame others if that relation doesn’t last. Either you have chosen the wrong partner or you don’t know how to build a relationship over the time.
Is there anything right or wrong kind of person for you? I don’t know but looking at some peoples live I believe maybe there is something like that.
I am always a big fan of Bill Gates not just because he is the 2nd richest man in the world but the way he is carrying his life. His intellect, view about the world and the urge to help others really fascinates me. But what even more fascinates me about him is his partnership with Melinda Gates. It’s such amazing to see how they are passing through the journey of life together at work and at home. Whether it’s about running the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation or taking any decisions about life, they are always together. It’s people like Bill and Melinda Gates who makes you believe that two people can become we from I and you. Imagine if Melinda Gates would not have been there in Bill Gates life. Yeah, Bill Gates would still be one of the richest persons of the world but on other dimensions like at emotional level, spiritual level I doubt Bill Gates would be in the same stable position where he is today. And he does accept that when in one of his posts he said
‘ Life is so much better knowing you have my back (Melinda Gates)’
Another amazing example of a great partnership would be Narayana and Sudha Murthy. Who doesn’t know the founder of Infosys ( an Indian multinational IT Company) Narayana Murthy. But probably very few people know how Infosys started. Narayana Murthy was passionate about creating great software but without having any resources. It’s only that time his wife Sudha Murthy understood his passion and given him all her savings (which is 10000 rupees in 1981) to him for pursuing his passion and said her-
‘ Take it. I give you three years of sabbatical leave. I will take care of the financial needs of our house. You go and chase your dreams without any worry.’
Sudha Murthy always stood beside Narayana Murthy and both of them always complement each other. Later Narayana Murthy told her wife- ‘Sudha, I stepped on your career to make mine. You are responsible for my success.’
Probably that’s how a true partnership looks like. Sudha Murthy is an established writer today. Whenever I read any of her book I really feel proud of this women.
By this time you might be thinking oh! these couples are made for each other or soulmates but a few days back I was reading an interesting book which states- ‘Relationships works best when two people don’t consider themselves as made for each other’. But Why is it so?
The author argues- when two people consider themselves as made for each other they no longer want to work on their relationship. They don’t try to improve it because they think it’s perfect. It’s just like you got a new job and if you think you are so perfect for the job, then you won’t try to better yourself at that job. Similar is the relationships. When Bill and Melinda Gates first met or Narayana and Sudha Murthy met they were also strangers. Of course, they liked each other, but that’s not enough. They understood each other better over the time to make a great partnership. Only when you accept that your relationship is not the perfect one and willing to make it perfect, You can have a more meaningful relationship.
We as an individual human being have enough intelligence to think beyond cultures and societies and decide what is good for us and why. Therefore, blaming other cultures or people merely showing the inability of your intellect. It’s up to you decide what kind of relationships you want in life and how to have a meaningful one.
So, I don’t agree with my friend that fragile relationships are due to the influence of other cultures. It’s due to peoples inability to view relationships beyond physical dimensions.
And how do you know if you have found the right person? Well, the answer is what steve jobs told us-
Have a meaningful week. Until next time.